Indianapolis Wedding Reception Guide
Little known points of bridal etiquette. Here are some confusing and problem areas to be aware of, starting with invitations:
The brides's family decides on the size and style of the wedding. The groom's family provides the bride with his guest list as soon as possible. At this point the list is usually shortened with the help of both families. Do not neglect to send invitations to people who live very far away and cannot possibly attend, because the invitation itself serves as announcement and memento of the wedding. You may enclose a note saying that you understand the distance is too great for them to attend but they may want the invitation for sentimental reasons.
Also, don't neglect to send an invitation to someone who is in mourning, even if they have just lost a loved one. They may attend the wedding but not the reception. If one of the bridesmaids or groom's men is in mourning, they must not mention this fact or show it in any way at the wedding. If their sorrow is too great, they may ask to be excused from the wedding. If they choose to attend, their personal problems must be put aside for the day for the happiness of the bride.
Cutting the wedding cake seems to be an issue with many brides who simply don't know how because they've never done it. Here is how it is done. If the groom is in full military dress, the cake is cut with his sword. If not, a silver cake knife decorated with streamers is used. The bride and groom cut the first slice anywhere but on the top layer, with their hands together on the knife. She and the groom share it. Stuffing the cake into your spouse's mouth has thankfully fallen out of fashion. There never was much to recommend this tradition and everyone seems happy to see it go.
The top of the cake is gently lifted off and boxed. It will be frozen and served at the first anniversary, although many cakeries offer to bake a new, fresh cake from the same ingredients for the first anniversary as cake doesn't really keep very well. At this point the bride and groom sit down and a friend, family member, or employee cuts the rest of the cake and serves it on plates to the guests.
At a large wedding, there is often a groom's cake (usually chocolate) to help serve the guests (see photo). To see a new twist on cake toppers, check out the cake jewelry at Princess Bride Tiaras.
The dance. Everyone knows that the groom dances with the bride first, usually at a signal from the DJ. Afterward, the bride dances with her father, or the groom with his mother. At this point the father-in-law gets to dance with the bride and the groom dances with his new mother-in-law. The best man then gets to dance with the bride and any of the groom's men may ask her afterward, while the groom is dancing with the bridesmaids. Finally, the guests may ask the bride to dance, but she may refuse if she would rather sit it out for awhile.
Throwing the bouquet. The bride may choose not to throw it and to send it instead to a loved one who could not attend the wedding. The guests should applaud when she announces this decision to recognize the absence of a dear family member.
For information about outdoor weddings see: www.bridalcolumbus.com. Also, some excellent information is available at www.bridallexington.com.
Questions to ask before you choose a reception site: (The ones you may not have thought of to ask).
- Who will handle parking problems? Will an off-duty policeman be hired to direct traffic and who pays him?
- Is there an overtime or cleanup fee for the site?
- Can you use your own caterer?
- Are there restrictions on volume of music and how long the band or DJ can play?
- If there is another party before yours, does your contract guarantee a clean site for you?
- Is there a kitchen on the premises that your caterer can use? (Caterers will charge more if they have to bring their own appliances to heat food). And who cleans it afterward?
- Who provides security guards (if needed)?
- Does your contract specify everything that will be provided, for instance, tables, chairs, glasses, plates, silverware, linens, electronic equipment, amplifiers, etc.?
- Cancellation policy?
- How many people will be there to supervise the hall, open up, and close?
- Does the hall have a liquor license and can they set up a bar?
- Can you bring your own booze?
- Does the hall carry its own liability insurance? Workman's comp?